Humor Columnist?

In view of the recent media flap over a plus-size dress called manatee gray sold by Target, I felt it my journalistic duty to tell the other side of the story.

LONDON

WEB RINGS

COLUMNS

Do you ever get tempted by those TV commercials and become the proud owner of something you dont need? You know the kind of commercial, Hurry and buy now and we will send you two instead of one. Oh, you get the item, but it is always something of questionable quality that you would never buy in a store. You dont need one, much less two.

As all ladies know, we must have a purse to haul about our stuff. The amount of stuff needed depends on the individual lady, but all of us need something to carry it in, whether large or small.

LINKS

ARCHIVES

NEW ENGLAND

Last week I was feeling sorry for myself. Like many women, I tend to take care of the needs of others and forget about myself. It was wearing me down. Time to take care of me, I decided.

Someone played what they thought was a hilarious joke and subscribed me to a free online dating service called ChristianMingle. I thought it was a law that email subscriptions must give you a link to unsubscribe. However, Humor, I clicked the unsubscribe link and it took me to the web site with no way to quit.

, website of the National Society of News Columnists, the oldest and largest professional organization for columnists. She is the Web Editor of Southern

Im not one of those persons blessed with a walk-in closet. My closet must change with the seasons, which means twice a year I remove all the things that I cant wear for a while and take them upstairs to the attic, a chore I despise.

Thank you for taking time from your busy schedule today. Its sad but some people do not believe in you. How do you feel about that?

EGYPT SERIES

I lost my phone today. . . again. I think maybe I am not smart enough to have a smart phone. I am a loser. I first missed it at work this morning. I always put it in my pocket so it will be handy if it rings. I dug and dug in my purse, but it wasnt there. I was not too worried. I must have left it at home. Drat it! No checking email at lunch today or surfing the internet. It was an aggravation, but I would survive.

We were at the grocery store when I spotted something that looked good, fresh unbaked pizza. It would make a quick supper when we got home, so I tossed it in the cart. I was sure fresh pizza would taste much better than frozen and be quicker than a carry-out pizza.

EDITOR INFO

Humorists.com as well as a founder of the Southern Humorists writers organization.She is writer, edison,new york asian escort Humor Columnist? and webmaster of HumorColumnist.com.

In Pursuit of a Purse

FIREFLIES

I first met Siri when I purchased an iPad, but she also can be found on my iPhone. Siri is a talking personal assistant with artificial intelligence. I tried to interview her.

The shoes felt fine in the store, but when I got them home, they suddenly didnt fit. I cant understand it. They are the same size I always wear. A larger size would be too big. They will stretch out after I wear them a few times, I thought, but I couldnt wear them long enough to stretch them. I found myself hobbling around the office or kicking them off under the desk. So, I did what any woman cing such a dilemma would do. I hid them in the back of the closet and tried to forget about them.

COLUMNIST

I made the announcement to my mily: I will not be on duty this Saturday; I am taking a me day.

I dont know why a cell phone needs a case. The manucturer has probably spent a zillion dollars designing a phone with beauty and functionality. Yet, the first thing most people want to do is cover it up with a case.

Git er done Larry the Cable Guy advises. I need to clean my closet in the worse way. Perfect, I think as I look out the window. It is pouring rain outside. Spring is here and my closet is stuffed with corduroy, suede, and wool things I will not wear until next winter.

Press and hold down the start button and Siri pops up, just like a genie in a bottle.

SIRI: Hi, Sheila, what can I do for you?

HOME

Greetings: This is a citation to appear before the Fashion Police to be criticized.

FRIENDS

her. Its that easy.

Today we have a special treat for you, an interview with a childhood vorite, the Easter Bunny.

BEST

It has been widely reported that when Target found out plus-size women were insulted by having a dress named after a sea cow, they quickly apologized and changed the name to plain old gray.

An Interview with Siri

Hear ye, hear ye, management hath decreed that all staff shall have a new PC whether they need it or not. Well, actually, I sort of do need a new computer. My old office machine was perfectly fine until it was loaded down with bloated programs that require more resources to run than the city of New York.

Its shion week in New York, the only reason needed for the Fashion Police to be out in full force. The clothes you think are cool are not cool at all. Comfortable is not a word in our vocabulary. ComfortablHumore does not make a shion statement. You must learn to value being shionable over being comfortable.

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